Q*bert

because i had a couple drinks those nights
because i was afraid you'd think i'm dangerous, a dangrerous drinker
because i was having fun with friends and only wanted to say hello
because you don't know me, you're scared of me
because you need straight answers, and you're afraid of me
because you have a hard time trusting new friends
because i never felt like a criminal till now
because i never scared anyone in my life like i have you,
because i think you might be thinking too much,
because you don't seem to want to believe, that, what i tell you about Me, is true.
because you have been scared before you met me
because you can't let go of something that isn't me.
because i know you don't know me.
because you get scared
because i care
because you may loose a good friend
because i may loose a wonderful friend
because in my head, i argue with you during the day, trying to solve problems
because in my head, while painting brushes brush, a battle between you and i is on
because in my head, i don't really want to give up on you
because in my head, i would rather stay friends
because in my head, i know you're in pain
because in my head, i may not understand your pain, but am beside your pain
because i only wanted to be there as a friend, even if i don't fully understand
because i tried, but in your heart, i may have died.
because i don't know what else to do
because i don't feel like the only one to blame
because i feel like i have to say goodbye so you can feel safe again
because i give up for now
because there is no cause anymore.
because things are so fucked up
because we think too much
because we think too much

Vapors

Found myself thinking of past days,
rotating circles of electric impulse,
drilling deeper into my cranium.

It was like a chamber of steam,
spraying vapors into the atmosphere,
again to satisfy the self esteem.

Found another self-thought to linger,
floating static electricity dancing,
unable to see the mind function.

It was a will to subvert expectation,
filling holes of doubt and impulse,
again to sanctify loss of esteem.

Seperation

To be invisible to the important ones,
to share yourself with loneliness.
Becoming Still-Life Yard Furniture,
watching people communicating,
being noticed for much of nothing.

Emptiness has a lot to offer,
comfort without expectation,
living seperate lives,
living as one,
I'm done.

Coping

Entering orbit
taking chaos too serious
watching from the outside is easy
living on the inside
calls for major transition

Entering the atmosphere
losing transmission
hearing from the inside is hard
diving into deaf waters
forcing absolute regression

"The Captive Heart" by: Brendan Perry

The old clock is ticking now
Marks the space between us
Your memory enshrouds my heart
For I am held a captive

Sometimes my soul desires
To take leave of this old world
To spread these golden wings and fly
To the city of angels

But then if I close my eyes
I can see you standing there
Your face in permanence smiles
Your lips a chalice

Seems like I've loved you all my life
Never thought I'd find you
One day the muse may lend these words wings
So I can touch you

But hey! Don't worry if the feelings not strong for you
I have lived my life in accordance
To the windfalls of passion
Though I know what it means
To be loved and then forgotten

I have seen too many men
Driven insane by their distractions